I dropped off my wife and children at the airport this morning. We are at the beginning of our next adventure and they are leading the way, with me to follow.
I returned home and experienced unexpected sadness. I will rejoin with them in about a week and a half, and that is sad to be apart from them for so long, but this went beyond that.
We left so early in the morning that everything was “left” in the state it was last night. No morning clean-up.
Toys as my son left them on the floor.
A deflated beach ball outside from my daughter pulling out the stopper and letting the air out.
The tea I prepared for my son last night that he didn’t touch.
The permanent marker “numbers” my daughter left on the wall.
As calm as a try to be in any situation, that last one was tough. She got a hold of a marker we were using to label some boxes and we are getting ready to move out. Last thing I want is any damage, we have done so well so far.
These little annoyances do not matter. I am not above it, I do my best. I have learned that there is no order of magnitude when it comes to things like this. A mild grievance is on the same plane as a major one. It is how we end up in a state of perpetual tension and anxiety. We allow dozens of mild annoyances to pile up over the course of the day and chalk it up to “life.” We deal with some, believe we let some go, and live in the “middle.”
I lost my father in November 2022. I loved my Dad, a lot.
Today, I wonder if he ever had moments like I had today. If he ever looked at the mess I made when I was gone and felt connection, rather than bothered that it was another mess to clean up.
I wonder if he ever looked at the toys on the floor and saw me when I wasn’t there?
We are all deeply connected to each other whether we are close or apart. That feeling is always there. That light is always there. As it is said, the clouds block the sun, the sun doesn’t go away. As it is with us. Moment by moment, with the softest of hands, we brush away the clouds and find the Light again.
To all of us today, may we not forget that deep connection. Through our actions, our thoughts, our words, one moment of love has an impact you cannot fathom.
Hug each other and clean up the mess with a smile.
Leave a Reply